Shaving Seinfeld

The Muffin Tops episode of Seinfeld was on last night. It's a good one.

George: All right, let me ask you something: When do you start to worry about ear hair?

Jerry: When you hear like a soft russeling.

George: It's like puberty that never stops. Ear puberty, nose puberty, knuckle puberty, you gotta be vigilant ...

and

Jerry: I did something stupid.

Kramer: What did you do?

Jerry: Well I was shaving. And I noticed an asymmetry in my chest hair and I was trying to even it out. Next thing I knew, (high pitched voice) Gone.

Kramer: Don't you know you're not supposed to poke around down there.

Jerry: Well women do it.

Kramer: (high pitched voice) "Well women do it." I'll tell you what. I'll pick you up a sundress and a parasol and you can just (high pitched voice) sashay your pretty little self around the town square.

(Watch it)

later

Jerry: I can't stop. Alex thinks I'm naturally hairless.

Kramer: You can't keep this up. Don't you know what's going to happen? Everytime you shave it, it's going to come in thicker and fuller and darker.

Jerry: Oh that's an old wives tale.

Kramer: Is it? Look at this.

Kramer walks off-screen and opens his shirt. On-screen Jerry reels from the sight.

Kramer: (high pitched voice) Look at it! Look at it! And it's all me. I shaved there when I was a lifeguard.

Jerry: Oh come on. That's genetics. That's not going to happen to me.

Kramer: Won't it? Or is it already starting to happen?